I have NEVER been an online dater. The thought of meeting up with a stranger for dinner and drinks was just really wild to me. For one, I’m an introvert and I’m not the person to just strike up a conversation with new people. I barely can talk to the people that I have known for 31 years(blame the introvert in me), and now I have to sit at a table with this random guy and make up things to talk about? I was like nah, I’m good on that. Secondly, I used to make fun of my cousin for going on dates with strangers she met online so there was no way that I was going to get sucked into that world. One day I got to thinking tho…WHAT DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO LOSE GIRL?
I had just got out of a really uncomfortable “situationship”, my phone was super dry, and I was tired of talking to my computer every single night. My youngest daughter(Rhileey) was sleeping in the bed with me every night and we fell asleep to the Disney channel and Nickelodeon. CHILE I NEEDED A BREAK! Now, before you go there yes I have children and they kept me thoroughly entertained, but I needed adult conversation and interaction. As a woman I was tired of going through all of the emotions that came with dealing with these men. I was giving my body to people that were so undeserving of such a precious gift. As a young girl I would always say that I was going to wait until I was married to have sex and that I would never have casual meaningless sex with a man….Oh to be young again…I don’t know about other women, but I go into situations with the intentions of just giving myself to a person whole heartedly. Time and time again each one of those situations have failed and its because I wasn’t friends with the person and half of the time I was just lonely and seeking companionship. Im sure everyone is familiar with the plenty of fish dating app? How I ended up downloading this particular app I do not know, but I did it..Here goes nothing!
So I open the app and there are hundreds of questions about my age, height, body type, what I like to eat, I mean the list just went on and on. What was I getting myself into? I had stepped into this new big world that I knew nothing about. I am about to sound really old, but ‘back in the day’ if you told somebody you were dating online they would look at you like you were going on a date with a serial killer, ESPECIALLY black people. I was only on this dating site for entertainment so there was no need to tell these people all my business. My profile said: Im a woman with 3 children and I like to read books. THEN I scrolled down to the little area where they match you up with people, and it said “are you here for fun, a serious relationship, or marriage? Now, I laughed at the marriage part because, who meets their husband online? As soon as I got my lil profile set up I added pictures and in came the messages. I got messages that were as sweet as “hey you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen” to “Hey lil mama come chill with me tonight”…First of all sir what If I’m crazy and you really inviting me to your house before you get to know me? I opened this one message from this guy and it simple said “Hey, I love your smile and I read your profile and I liked it”. I had to go back and read it again because I know I was real short and dry. I clicked on his profile, (HE WAS SO FINE y’all and he had a beard! Winning) to read what he was about and what I saw intrigued me.
It simply said “Im on here looking for a relationship,but just because I give you a compliment doesn’t mean I want to sleep with you”. If we start talking and you answer with one word then ill stop texting you”. The last thing he said is what made me laugh because its something I would totally say. I laughed at his bluntness and his transparency. I continued reading to find out that he had children so now I’m really intrigued. So much so that I sent him a message back and first thanked him for the compliment then laughed at his bio. We sent each other messages back and forth for a few weeks then we transitioned into the exchanging of phone numbers. I fell in love with his transparency first because that is rare in the dating world. He wasn’t a charmer, he didn’t have a lot of smooth things to say, he was just a straight shooter. I told y’all in my first blog post that he served in the army for 8 years so he was very cautious. We had been talking for about a month and a half and finally decided to meet up. The first time we met up was at his house. Once again I was new to this whole online dating thing so I sent my cousin his address and when I got to his house there were two cars in the driveway so I took a picture of both license plates and told her that if anything happens to me this is the guy you need to hunt down! LOL Little did I know he was watching me sit in my car the entire time to make sure I wasn’t some crazy girl trying to set him up and have him robbed. He told me he was watching to make sure no cars were hiding down the street and everything. I didn’t trip at all because, hey, we were both on the same page….
I finally got the nerve to get out of the car and go in and the man opens the door to greet me and I see an all white pitbull! Nope! Im not a dog lover and he has a pit on top of that? (Flag #1). I was about to call Tonya back and tell her to call me in 5 minutes and fake an emergency. I get past the dog and make my way in to this true definition of a bachelor pad. I have a seat and he offers me a drink, but I politely decline because ain’t nobody got time to be getting drunk sir I’m still trying to feel you out. I look down and noticed a gun on his living room table. (Flag #2) Before I could say anything he let me know that he owns plenty of guns but It is for protection. Our conversations have always been great and they had substance so we went right in. He was such a gentleman and made me feel so comfortable, he got me a blanket and everything y’all. Anyone that knows me knows Im always cold so that was a plus for me. In my head I was thinking either this dude got some home training or he tryna get some the first night. I was real hesitant about staying the night at this random guys house, but I did anyway. Calm down y’all we behaved! Lol. I left the next morning thinking man I really feel comfortable and safe around this man. Our conversation was right, he was a gentleman, he was a family man, and something just felt right. The MAIN thing was that he didn’t care who I was connected to. That is important to me because its always so hard to meet new people because you don’t know their motives. He was like “oh ok thats cool”. THAT’S IT? No, can I meet them, are they funny in person, none of that. We started hanging out every weekend that we didn’t have the kids because we both weren’t ready to bring kids into the situation because it was still so fresh. The picture below is the first picture we took together, it was also the first time I introduced him to my brother and sisters. My sister-n-law had a birthday party at this club and he was my date! I still wasn’t ready for him to meet my parents, and before you ask why…Thats part of next weeks blog post! Our first “real” date was a barbecue festival, and he took me to a gun range. I can’t give away all the juicy details because what will y’all have to read on Sunday???? And ohhhh it gets juicer. Sunday I will talk about how I introduced him to my family, the talk my dad and I had, and………THE PROPOSAL!!
If you are online dating be responsible and very cautious. Although I am no longer against it I do want to encourage everyone to be careful because everyone isn’t as awesome as Ace…See you back here Sunday