Death by prison…

How come nobody told me that losing a loved one to the system feels like there is a death in the family? The bond that i have with my child’s father is one that can never be broken. When it comes to our daughter he never misses a beat. He’s way more than just a weekend dad…

The beginning started out a little rocky because there were still feelings involved. This made it hard to co-parent but once we got passed all of that and GREW UP everything was smooth sailing. I feel pretty comfortable saying my daughter is a daddy’s girl. I used to feel like I was in second place because she was so close to him but I’m actually winning. The relationship between a father and his daughter is her first example of how she should be treated by a man.

Since his arrest I have had a range of emotions. My first reaction to getting the news that he would spend the next 25 yrs behind bars was SHOCK. Shock instantly faded away and my daughters feelings became my ONLY concern. I have to be strong for her right? Should I even tell her? How would I start this conversation? There’s no right way to say this kind of stuff but to just simply say it.

Children are so forgiving and have the purest hearts. Her first reaction was to go into protect and forgive mode. “Mama he made a mistake and should be forgiven for that”…Every night her prayers are for God to work out a miracle for her dad to get out and she prays that he has peaceful sleep every night…Throughout this whole process my daughter has checked on me and she has just been there! She said to me “Mama I know my daddy is your friend and I just want to make sure you’re ok too”. MELTED MY HEART…

She doesn’t see the tears that I shed but she feels them. She can’t read my thoughts but when I’m having one of those days she will randomly come talk about things her dad has taught her. The connection is WILD!!

She’s so much stronger than I imagined she would be. One day she will know that her strength introduced me to a stronger me.

If you have someone that is incarcerated, don’t forget about them. You don’t know how much impact a simple letter can have. Yes, everyone has to pay their debt but they don’t have to be written off.

-P-

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